WHAT NEGOTIATORS CAN TEACH MEDIATORS

Herb Cohen, author of the bestselling book, You Can Negotiate Anything, is noted as having said “Your real world is a giant negotiating table, and like it or not, you’re a participant.” Due to the book’s popularity, his son Rich Cohen recently published The Adventures of Herbie Cohen: World’s Greatest Negotiator.

 Mediators, of course, don’t negotiate during mediation, but can coach participants in their arbitration. Some of Herb Cohen’s advice applies not only to mediators, but also to those who find themselves in a conflict.

 Herb Cohen’s advice as described by his son:

• Win-win is not only an option, but a philosophy, a worldview, and a goal. To Cohen, win-win outcomes were the only path to long term success.

• If the goal is to solve a problem, don’t humiliate your adversary. Give them a way out and way to save face.

• Be patient. Don’t rush an agreement.

• Most importantly, don’t get fixated on a particular outcome. Be creative and find novel solutions.

 To many, Cohen had a reputation as a hardball negotiator, but his son described his father’s basic truth as: People you are in conflict with today will still be here tomorrow; and you’ll still have to live with them. Herb Cohen would encourage us to accept that philosophy and work back from there.

 That simple approach is one mediators can help disputants understand. Conflicts arise in relationships and unless ties are forever broken, the parties will have to deal with each other again. How they deal with one another in mediation sets the stage for the future.